I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize