You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
