She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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