when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
