I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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