Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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