Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You are a genius and a whore.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
