Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
