You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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