What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
