In the future we'll all be gay
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
