No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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