Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize