Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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