Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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