I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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