Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just forgot I was standing up.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
