I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
well you can't waste a boner
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
