i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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