I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
