College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
love makes seman taste better
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
