its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
