he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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