i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
