my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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