just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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