Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
