Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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