So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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