hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just sent this text using only my big toe
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize