After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
