And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
