If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
