Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
