Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
