I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
