so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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