now i know why i became what i already was.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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