SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
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