My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Text me some of your sweat
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
