I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
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