cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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