my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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