I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
