Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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