My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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