I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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