before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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