What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
