We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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