Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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