1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
