Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
