Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
