Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
