i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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