i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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