you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
