is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
