Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
