I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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