Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
