A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he puts the penis in happiness.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
