I just made out with a guy for $7.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
