You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
