whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
