i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dignity is for republicans.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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