I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize